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Think about how you respond to the person who is splitting - try to remain calm and if you find this difficult, give yourself an opportunity to cool down by postponing the conversation.Splitting is something that they are doing unknowingly Remember that splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder - while it can be difficult not to take their words and actions personally, remember that the person is not intentionally trying to hurt you.If you are close to a person with borderline personality disorder, there are a number of ways to support them so that they are able to better manage their splitting behaviour. There are techniques to manage anger during this time. They may also become incredibly angry with themselves. The individual may then become angry, or withdraw entirely. When a real or perceived slight is then experienced by the person with borderline personality disorder, this can cause them to feel disappointed, betrayed, unloved or abandoned, and view the other party as entirely bad. This can be harmful to both parties, and a draining responsibility. Also, when believing a person is completely perfect, this can also lead to co-dependency, where they rely on that individual for all their wants and needs. When seeing someone or something as entirely good, this can leave the person with BPD vulnerable to harm and danger as they are unable to see associated risks. These extreme emotions can be exhausting, both to the person with BPD and those who are closest to them. Therefore, when a person with the disorder splits and perceives something or someone to be entirely good or bad, they are likely to respond in a way that falls outside what would be expected. Symptoms of splittingĪ common symptom of BPD is emotional dysregulation – this is where a person is less able to manage their emotional responses than individuals who don’t struggle with a personality disorder. For others, their opposing views can fluctuate over time, where they switch from seeing someone or something as entirely good to entirely bad, or vice versa. Someone will ‘always’ or ‘never’ be lovingĪ person may hold onto these black and white views permanently.Something will ‘always’ or ‘never’ go right.People will be seen as ‘perfect’ or ‘evil’.The Effects of Splitting Examples of splittingĪ person with borderline personality disorder may use splitting in the following ways: This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory. Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. People with borderline personality disorder often experience overwhelming emotions and struggle to integrate the concept that good and bad can co-exist in another person. They become able to integrate the idea that good and bad can be held in the same object. As the baby develops psychologically, they begin to understand that the world isn’t just good or bad. When a baby enters the world, they experience the things within it as either good or bad, or as all or nothing. The root cause is linked to how we develop as a child. This event might spark fears of abandonment, separation or severe anxiety. Sometimes, these events might seem harmless or small to people without BPD, but they may in some way relate to previous trauma. What Causes Splitting?Ī split might often be caused by an event that triggers the extreme binary emotions that characterise BPD. It's a commonly used defence mechanism that is done subconsciously in an attempt to protect against intense negative feelings such as loneliness, abandonment and isolation. It can also lead to strains or fractures in their relationships as those close to the person become more and more affected by their behaviour.
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Seeing and responding to the world in these extremes, through either a filter of positivity or negativity, can leave a person with BPD exhausted and emotionally drained. Its development can be linked to experiences of early life traumas, such as abuse and abandonment. Splitting is a defence mechanism deployed by people with BPD and other personality disorders. It stops them from being able to recognise or accept paradoxical qualities in someone or something and doesn’t allow for any ‘grey areas’ in their thinking. It causes a person to view everything and everyone in black and white, ‘absolute’ terms. ‘Splitting’ is common symptom for people with mental health issues like borderline personality disorder (BPD). Page medically reviewed by Dr Liam Parsonage (BA, MBBS, MRCPsych, PGCert) Consultant Psychiatrist at Priory Hospital North London What is Splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?